“It Wasn’t until I listened that I saw” : Reflection Essay Unit One.

I'ts the Good in the world that we need to nurture.


Reflections … the very word conjure the pictures of one’s own image reflected within the surface of some shimmering pool, or polished silver. When reflection is discussed it’s a positive thing, one which shows the nature of the person or inner essence. What if when one is staring into their image, their thoughts-their souls, instead of seeing beauty- they see the beast?

At the beginning of this semester, when the discussion of Service Learning came, I was worried, truly worried. I have a strong belief that the people who these programs help don’t deserve it. They are filthy, lying, and thieving persons.All of my past experiences have created and tempered this opinion. Not only that… but a feeling of spite. I have worked so hard and given so much to everyone around me yet I am still left with nothing. No help no aid. Even the government has deemed me too poor to deserve food stamps. I’m a productive member of Society who has paid taxes, voted, and even tried to be an active member in the community. And yet I’m spat on while these people who are happy ling in their squalor are treated as though they deserve more. That somehow they are worth more than I am. Why? Why would they possibly be worth more – what have they done that I haven’t.

This has been my secret shame. I have become someone who judgers solely on appearances’ or assumptions. I harbor such hatred, jealousy and spite for people I’ve never known. While looking for sources for my bibliographies- I tried to find the sources that spoke of how the community sees these people. I wanted to find a source that would prove to me that these people didn’t deserve my wrath. I thought that if I could just find one thing… to hold to- some evidence that the community isn’t casting pearls before swine, then I’d be rid of this anger. I never found what I was looking for. Ironically what I needed was there in my sources the whole time, but I couldn’t see it. It wasn’t until I applied a real lens to these sources- to the situation that I could see anything.

David Rossenwasser and Jill Stephan talk about lenses in writing analytically Ch 13 and 14. There’s a great deal about incorporating sources and seeing with the Lens of your source while working with other material. However I think they left out an extremely crucial point.

Unfortunately the writing in my sources wasn’t enough for me to see anything in them except what I wanted to see. While I was looking for the reasons to care about these people, this project, the writing didn’t affect me. It just went through one eye and out the other. It wasn’t until I listened that I saw. We’ve been talking about entering the Academic Conversation...and about writing to continue the conversation rather than to end it. So this is my contribution to the conversation. Writing… as factual and as technically sound as it could possibly be, has no effect unless it can really touch someone, until it can be applied. This effect is what the lens does. My sources were slightly worthless until I could really open my eyes and see what other information was there. But the lenses themselves need to inspire, need to be powerful enough to change your thought process. And I do not believe they need to be written words to achieve this.

The lens that has worked for me is not piece of writing. It is this song. “Peace Love and Good Tidings”. This song when I hear it has the ability to melt through all of my anger and hatred. It makes me believe that there’s still a future that there really is good in this world. It is that good which we have to nurture. My own hatred was blinding me and it wasn’t until I could break through it for a little while that the messages could shine through.




That’s what the Lens – means. – At first I thought it just meant it was a way of conversing one writer with another or a way of telling people that read your work: Writer A believes this and Writer B believes this, so make up your own decision. It’s not. Using the “lens” is like – walking in that person’s shoes. It’s something that literally makes your brain think in a different way. When your brain is working in a different way the material is different. It’s an extremely different concept to communicate and write. How do you put into words what it’s like to be blind then see?

These first few weeks of the semester have been eye opening on many levels. I always knew I had issues with Source Citation, but I never really understood why it mattered. As long as we say the Author, name of book or article, and publish date, why are all of the extras so important? I guess, I still don’t really know the why of it (the technical parts), however I do have a better understanding of its importance. I would be very upset if someone stold lyrics from Chrise’s music, and didn’t give him credit, also the academic conversation is important. Its our personal views and ingenious epiphanies on material and views, which we can trace back to ancient Aristotle. Being a part of that is awe-inspiring and special, so having those ideas stolen is an awful crime. The technical aspects of citation are daunting, but being a part of the conversation is such a wonderful thought, that it’s worth the toil.

In forwarding and countering the Author talks about forwarding on the conversation, so that the conversation can grow, I hope that this reflective essay is a forward and starts others to think about their lenses in creative ways. Our class gives us the ability to combine media with prose. I believe anything can be a lens to your sources. Not just more writing. In my experience it was a song. In essence this new lens has changed even this essay. Instead of another I felt this now I feel this – it’s become an effort to try and communicate how powerful these lenses can be and what it really means. As I’ve said the concept is extremely difficult to explain. I think it’s something that must be experienced to be understood.

My lense “ Peace Love and Good tidings” has completely changed .. my sources for me. For instance the sources talked about changing the education system. And I took from that a feeling of… responsibility for our people. Keeping Jobs in the U.S.A. is tied to Education which is tied top our poor and middle class which connects back to jobs. It’s a cycle. But seeing through my lens, with love in my heart rather than anger, I see that I think these sources are trying to say that these people are in essence children. They are the people who fell through the cracks in the beginning and who need to be taught as a child would.

Ironically it seems that the reason I despise these people IS the reason why we should care. My view is that people are responsible for themselves. I have been left to claw for everything I have. I’m lonely and hungry and my living arrangements are shaky at best. The only thing that keeps me going is this belief that hard work pays off. That if you strive you can reach greatness. I’m angry because I view these people as standing around holding a sign doing nothing but facing the wind.

And statistically they make more at THIS then I have made at my last three jobs put together. I think of the man who walked up to me and asked to have a little bit of money for medicine… then he walked into a parking lot put his things in the trunk of his Mercedes Benze and drove away. While I felt my stomach grumble.

And while there are those people in this world, perhaps the people at Job Corps are not these people.

When I went and spoke with Dee, she talked about how each member there had to be screened, and that each one wants to be there. These are the people that can barely read. They are the “children” that our community – if America can even say it has communities anymore- abandoned. These people are striving to become educated and work in a field that will pay them enough to support themselves. In essence they are the people that aren’t satisfied with their situations, they are actively shaping and trying to change. They are fighting, clawing, like me to get to a better future. – They just have more help than I do.

Which… I hope my opinions change… but unfortunately changing ones prejudices is a very difficult thing to do. So hopefully I will continue to find the lenses that affect my views of the world. I hope that my experiences with these people will be my lens for others like them. I think to do that though- I need to check my hatred at the door, and to do that I need to find some commonality. Or maybe I’ll need to literally take a breath and count to 10 million. When I walk to job corps, I feel like I’m walking into a military prison. And Dee affirms this sensation when she mentioned that the people there could not leave of their own volition. What kind of strength or desire to become educated, and have a job, that one is willing to give up their freedom? – If nothing else that one point deserves my respect.

“Nothing to say, Nothing to do, same old me, and it’s the same old you. In light of things goin on, always room for another song. Life is short its moving fast,

In no time at all we’ll be in the past….and if we’re lucky we’ll live on through the memories and through the songs. So live it up, lets get along, sing together like birds in song, look at we, honoring, peace and love and good tidings.” (Poland, Christopher)





Wrks Cited

Apollo 12 astronauts. “Eclipse of the Sun by Earth”. Photograph. Web. 18 Feb. 2011 http://www.bibalex.org/eclipse2006/MoonEclipse.htm


CLAMP.”Card Captor Sakura.” Manga Inking. Web. 18 Feb. 2011. http://connect.in.com/card-captor-sakura-manga/images-sakura-card-captor-sakura-card-captor-kura8-photos-club-ados--1-525212851823.html

David Rossenwasser and Jill Stephen. Writing Analytically. Place of Publication unknown: Cengage Learning, Jan 2008. Print and PDF

Paul. No Name. Web. 18 Feb. 2011. http://lifeinasack.net/2010/07/09/facing-an-uncomfortable-reality-beggars/

Poland, Christopher. “Peace Love And Good Tidings” . Chris Poland, IMR. Music Video.